i have not spoken to my family members since.........friday...yeaps....friday.....i have not eaten food prepared by mom and food they bought back for me.....have i gone thinner? i hope to i guess i did not, cause i will wake up at 2am and come out of the room and cook my own food...instant noodles and my yummy brown rice drink...
why am i behaving like that? it is because i cannot tahan them rushing me to submit my application for nursing.....it last happened after i shouted at them and walked into my room stayed in my room all the time.....i have already done my best to get everything done and submit my applications but still, complains and complains from my parents and siblings about when am i going to submit my application....
they did not actually appreciate that i have accepted what they want me to do...which is nursing.....i tried so hard to get transportation to school to get everything done....though i have a licence, i am not allowed to drive out alone....wat is the use of having a licence? i have my licence for one year already and still, i drive like a beginner because i only drive ONCE A WEEK...that one also i drive my dad's car which is in auto...my mom's is manual and she never allow me to drive...i only drove that car for 5 times and then she stopped me from driving...my dad said, "u just stick to auto la..." and that's it.....whatever...waste of 1k plus..that money can be saved for our education....
Nursing WAS my childhood ambition but not my CURRENT ambition...i do like nursing but it is like number 5 in my list.....how about my number 1? number 2? 3? and 4? how about the one i really want to do most? i already sacrifice all those because i know my parents cannot afford to send me to study what i want.....My brother has high chances in going for private cause he did so badly in his STPM until local uni cannot accept him in....all because of his laziness....why lazy people has better privillege than those who are hardworking...i am not saying me, but my sister....
my sister got 9As and a B for her SPM and her results is consider nothing to apply for most full scholarships....what she is applying now are all off her list....if she don't get anything, she'll go for form 6....at least she is brilliant and if she goes to form 6, it is not that bad for her....
i got alot worst than her and my parents wants me to do nursing...i said ok...i applied for 7 different scholarships.......they are so much more "kan chiong" than i am.....and because of their "kan chiong-ness", we quarrelled and i never spoke to any of them since friday......they don't understand how much efford i put in applying for this, something that don't really interest me as much as what i wanna do....it does benefit me but do they have to push me and complain....?? i already say "yes, i'll do nursing...i am excited about getting in...bla bla" i already did what am i suppose to do, stop complaining la!
like i have said....my sister's results is considered NOTHING apatah lagi my results? do you think i can make it in? what if people who applied are those people with better results?
i have send in my application by express pos today....all thanks to Luanne for driving me around to settle whatever i have to settle by today.....they should be happy to see the envelopes gone from the table.....all i can do now is just pray and allow God to show me which road to go to...
i'm off to KL on wednesday....going for HIAS interview for fun and i just wanna leave home....hah, but only can do so for a moment because i doubt people will accept me for a long-term in their house....
ciao...
